


Don't Let Me Forget You

by KissedByAShadow



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), Shadowhunters (TV) RPF, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, All Magic Comes With a Price, Angst, Blackmail, Edom Angst (Shadowhunter Chronicles), Emotional Hurt, Emotional Manipulation, Emotionally Hurt Alec Lightwood, Emotionally Hurt Magnus Bane, Hell, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt Magnus Bane, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood-centric, Manipulation, Marriage Proposal, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Pain, Possessive Behavior
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2020-01-07 09:48:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18408146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KissedByAShadow/pseuds/KissedByAShadow
Summary: Magnus will forget any and all memories he has of you.Asmodeus had told him, with a gleeful grin spreading across his face as Alec’s heart had plummeted towards the ground, dread coursing through his veins."Slip this into one of his drinks, he’ll never notice. But mark my words, you’ll have a mere ten minutes with him, before his mind resets itself to before he ever met you.It'll be like you never even existed."-Alec will stop at nothing to get Magnus's magic back. However, everything involving Asmodeus comes with a price.In this case, the price is him.





	Don't Let Me Forget You

**Author's Note:**

> So, I hate myself. And by the time this ends, I'm sure you will too.

_No,_ Alec had stated firmly, his fists clenching as his posture stiffened. He’d regarded the Prince of Hell with a stern gaze, his teeth gritting together as he’d repeated himself.

_No, I’m not leaving Magnus._

_Oh?_ Asmodeus had laughed, the sound rough, grating against his throat before spewing past his lips. _You dare defy a Greater Demon?_ He’d questioned mockingly. _Very well then._

 _Take this vial,_ Asmodeus had said, as he’d handed Alec a tiny container filled with a strange golden liquid. _It contains the essence of Magnus’s magic._ Instantly, the vial had been in Alec’s hands. He’s clutched it tightly between his fingers, unbridled joy flowing through him as he inspected the contents of the bottle – until he realized what was to come.

 _What’s your price?_ He’d asked, the minute the thought occurred to him, his eyes narrowing in suspicion as he’d taken in the Greater Demon’s greedy stance. Asmodeus had smirked, the expression on his face feral, almost predatory, as he’d spit out his condition.

 _Magnus will forget any and all memories he has of you._ Asmodeus had told him, with a gleeful grin spreading across his face as Alec’s heart had plummeted towards the ground, dread coursing through his veins. _Slip this into one of his drinks, he’ll never notice._ Asmodeus had announced, his smile widening with every syllable. _But mark my words, you’ll have a mere ten minutes with him, before his mind resets itself to before he ever met you._

_It'll be like you never existed._

Alec had closed his eyes at the words, as if that would shield him from the pain. But he’d choked out a thank you to Asmodeus anyway, the words leaving a bitter taste in his mouth, before leaving the loft that was no longer theirs.

* * *

He’s standing in front of the dressing table, a pot of tea placed in front of him, trembling fingers grasping the vial he’d received earlier that day.

He feels numb. Dead. Empty.

He’s had almost the entire day to process things. Magnus had stayed in bed the whole time – Alec isn’t sure if his boyfriend even realized he was gone in the first place, but he hadn’t tried to bother Magnus.

His problems were about to end anyway.

He unscrews the vial slowly, taking his time as lets its contents pour drop by drop into the pot. He can feel whiffs of the magic surround him, and he lets it, finally feeling at home after so, so long. He’s missed this, missed being around Magnus’s magic, missed letting it engulf him and fester inside him as a part of it found a home in him too.

But all of that is about to change soon.

He can’t breathe.

He tosses container aside carelessly – the glass shatters against the floor, but he doesn’t really care, and he assumes Magnus doesn’t either, judging from the way he barely even shifts his position.

This is the price he has to pay, he tells himself firmly. This is the price they have to pay, so Magnus can get his magic back, so Magnus can finally be happy.

Because Alec isn't enough. He’d said so himself.

“Magnus?” He says lightly, and he’s surprised at how level his voice sounds. He isn’t sure if that’s something he’s proud of or not.

Magnus grunts in response, and lifts his head in just the slightest gesture to see what Alec could possibly want. When he notices the cup of tea in Alec’s hands, however, he groans, and flops back onto the bed, dragging the covers all the way over his head.

“Look, just drink this-” Alec says, placing the cup on his bedside table as he sits beside Magnus, pulling the covers away. Gently, he cups Magnus’s cheek, forcing the other man to look at him. Magnus does, but his eyes no longer hold the love and affection they used to. Instead, they look hollow.

Which is exactly what fuels Alec’s determination.

“-And you’ll feel better, okay?” Alec finishes pleadingly, picking the cup up and maneuvering it towards Magnus, who eyes it dazedly. “I promise.” Alec whispers, a hint of desperation in his tone.

It’s what gets Magnus to sit up straight.

It kills him to see Magnus like this, so unwilling to live, to do anything except feel miserable. As much as Magnus denies it, Alec knows that Magnus’s sole incentive for doing anything is him. Alec.

 _He won’t be like this much longer,_ Alec reminds himself. A part of him dreads what’s to come, but the other part is satisfied. He wants Magnus to be happy, more than anything. He’s willing to do anything to make that happen, even if it meant he'll have to watch Magnus from afar for the rest of his life. 

It’s worth it.

He hands the cup to Magnus, who takes it with a sigh, sipping the drink slowly. And Alec hates himself for the internal clock that begins ticking in his head the minute Magnus brings the cup to his lips, but he can’t stop himself.

Ten minutes. That’s all he has left.

Every passing second is agonizing, and by the time Magnus is finished with his drink, it takes Alec everything he has in him to keep the tears at bay, to keep the smile plastered to his face.

Magnus freezes.

“A-Alexander?” He asks carefully, reaching out blindly, his hand wavering. But Alec’s right there, he always is, and he takes Magnus’s hand easily.

“Alexander, what’s-” Magnus begins, but his words are cut off by a choked shout as his entire body lights up, glowing blue as he falls back stiffly into Alec. And then he’s screaming, his sobs wracking through the room as he jerks up and down in Alec’s arms, his body convulsing as he clutches Alec’s hand with everything he has.

Alec lets him, because he can feel nothing.

This is second time he’s seen Magnus like this, and as the seconds pass, he finds himself hoping – _praying_ – to the Angel that he never has to see Magnus like this again. He’ll sacrifice anything, even himself, as long as it means that Magnus will never have to endure this kind of agony ever again.

And then it’s over just as quickly as it started, and Magnus is lying limply in his lap, chest heaving up and down with disbelieving gulps of breath as reality dawns on him.

“Alec?” Magnus croaks out carefully, shooting straight up. His eyes are alight with a careful excitement, like he knows what’s just happened, but he’s afraid to believe it.

Alec breaks out into a grin.

“Go ahead.” He says, nodding. “Try it.” Magnus’s forehead scrunches in confusion, his nose crinkling adorably as he stretches his hands out in front of himself.

And then he’s waving his hands in rapid gestures, a beaming grin spreading across his face as he notices the blue sparks spraying from the edges of his fingertips. He laughs – for the first time in what feels like forever, the sound is joyful – as he leaps off the bed, swirling his hands around himself. In an instant, he’s all dressed up again, and it’s with a start that Alec notices that he’s wearing the same outfit he had when they’d first met.

Before he can realize what’s happening, then, Magnus is on top of him, his hands clutching at Alec as he buries his head in the crook of Alec’s neck, his laughter muffled, but still present. The sound fills Alec with warmth, but the warmth doesn't fill him this time, not like it used to. It doesn't spread through him - instead, it recedes away, like it's afraid of what's to come. 

 _Seven minutes_ , he reminds himself. _That’s all you have left._

“What did you do?!” Magnus exclaims joyfully, as he pulls away. Alec levels his gaze with Magnus’s, only to find that his boyfriend is gazing at his fingers with an almost childlike wonder, his eyes sparkling.

“Doesn’t matter.” Alec tells him vaguely, taking in a stuttering breath that he prays Magnus won’t notice as he rearranges his features. He feels hollow inside, but he’ll be damned if he ever lets Magnus know that.

“Alexander, come on, tell-”

“I love you.” Alec breathes out suddenly. He doesn’t mean for the words to come out, but they do, and they provide a welcome distraction. He feels raw, stripped of everything he has, despite the fact that he’s declared his love for Magnus countless times before.

This is probably the last time he ever will.

Instantly, Magnus’s features soften, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he regards Alec with an expression full of love. Alec’s heart skips a beat at the affection in his eyes.

“I love you, too, Alec.” Magnus whispers, an undercurrent of barely contained excitement still present in his tone. He presses his forehead against Alec’s, and then they’re kissing, their lips moving together effortlessly. Alec pours everything he’s feeling into the kiss, his hands moving to wrap themselves around Magnus’s, pulling him close.

But Magnus pulls away.

“Alexander, is everything okay?” He asks, a hint of worry etched in his features. His eyebrows meet in the middle of his forehead, and it’s all Alec can do to stop the sob that’s welling up in his throat at the question. Trust Magnus to notice that something's wrong, even through the euphoria he's feeling.

“Yeah,” He murmurs hoarsely, turning away. He blinks rapidly, looking for a distraction, when his eyes fall on his dressing table, where he’d hastily stored the Lightwood ring before turning back to Magnus last night.

And suddenly, he knows what he needs to do.

“Magnus,” He begins slowly, before Magnus can question him any further. He reaches behind him, pawing at the drawer before he manages to open it. He scrambles to grasp the case that's faithfully protected the ring for decades, bringing it towards Magnus a second later.

“What’s that?” Magnus asks, an amused grin spreading across his face as he eyes Alec’s enclosed fist. Alec takes in a deep breath, his shoulders rising and falling heavily, as he gently shoves the warlock off of him, chuckling humorlessly at the protesting whines he receives, before sliding off the bed and sinking onto one knee.

Magnus freezes.

“Alexander, what-”

“I meant to do this last night.” Alec begins abruptly, his voice rough and not quite level yet. He clears his throat slightly before continuing. “But I couldn’t because, you know-” He’s struggling to form the words now, they keep getting stuck in his throat, but he has to do this.

“Magnus Bane, the first time I met you, you made a joke about meat.” Alec says, and Magnus chuckles, shaking his head in disbelief. “But I knew, then, that there was something between us. And it was something I couldn’t ignore. I thought I was in love with Jace,” He says, pausing to let the both of them shake their heads at the thought. “But you- you taught me what love really was. You taught me what it meant to love someone and to be loved back by them.” He’s almost crying now, and he can tell Magnus is on the verge of it too.

“You’re my world, Magnus.” He states firmly, gritting his teeth against the sudden onslaught of emotions that flood through him, shaking him to his very core. “So, Magnus Bane,” He takes a deep breath, staring straight into Magnus’s eyes, which have turned golden. And Alec almost cries with relief; he’s missed those eyes more than he ever could’ve imagined. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes!” The word's out of Magnus’s mouth before Alec can finish asking him the question, and _fuck_ , he’s crying now. But he doesn’t pay much heed to his tears, he can Magnus doesn’t care much either, as he takes a step forward, sliding the Lightwood ring onto Magnus’s waiting hand.

Nothing’s ever felt so right before.

His eyes well up with a fresh set of tears at the sight of the ring on Magnus’s hand, because _goddamn_ , he’s wanted this for so long. The Lightwood ring has been passed on for generations, and now, it’s on Magnus Bane’s hand.

_Magnus Bane._

Magnus’s hands are on his face, and their noses are brushing together as he brings their faces close, and Alec smiles slightly despite himself, savouring the moment.

_One minute left._

And then Magnus is pressing their lips together, and every memory he has with Magnus washes over him, right from that first date they had in Tokyo, to their first time together. The first time he told Magnus he loved him, his hazy image of Magnus as he was lying on the floor with an arrow through his chest, his training session with Magnus a few days ago, everything swirls through his head. He’s heaving dry, tearless sobs now, something he can only hope Magnus interprets as happiness.

It takes him every ounce of his willpower to pull away from Magnus, but he does it anyway, placing their foreheads together.

“Magnus,” He whispers, opening his eyes. Magnus’s own are closed, and he thanks the Angel for that.

“I need you to promise me something.” He says, his tone desperate as he laces their fingers together. He feels the ring brush against his hand, his stomach twisting in on itself as he feels the metal against his skin. Magnus murmurs vaguely in response.

“ _Magnus,_ ” He says urgently, and that’s when Magnus’s eyes snap open, still alight and golden.

“What is it?”

“Promise me,” Alec says, pausing to compose himself before continuing. He’s selfish for doing this, but he can’t help himself. If there’s any chance Magnus remembers this, that will be more than enough for him. “-that you’ll never take this ring off.”

“Of course I won’t.” Magnus responds instantly, an amused grin spreading across his face. “Why would I?” He asks, shaking his head softly.

“No reason.” Alec mutters, shrugging his shoulders in a failed attempt at nonchalance. He has barely any time left, and he needs to get out of there. _Now._

Thankfully, his phones buzzes then, and he springs at the opportunity gratefully.

“Oh, shit.” He says, drawing Magnus’s attention. “It’s from Izzy. I need to go.” The message isn’t from Izzy, it’s about a set of shipments they just received, but Magnus doesn’t need to know that.

“Oh.” Magnus intones, and he looks slightly disappointed, but his fingers spark then, and he brightens up instantly. “Okay, then.” He says, pressing a quick kiss to Alec’s lips before raising his arms again. “I’ll just be here, testing my magic. See you later, _fiancé._ ” He chuckles playfully.

“See you,” Alec says, slipping out the door. The last thing he sees before shutting it is Magnus blinking rapidly for a moment, before shaking his head and staring at Alec’s room in confusion.

He shuts the door.

His footsteps are fast after that, but he can barely make it down the hallway on his trembling feet before he slams his back against the wall, sliding down it as huge, choking sobs wrack through his body, threatening to tear him apart as the realization dawns on him.

He’s no longer a part of Magnus’s life anymore.

* * *

Magnus heads into the Ops Center, peppy as always but confused.

“Excuse me.” He says, tapping the shoulder of one of the shadowhunters who’s passing by. He stops, his expression guarded as he turns to face Magnus.

“What?” He asks rudely. Magnus chuckles, but chooses to ignore it. He’s received his fair share of harsh treatment from shadowhunters over the centuries, and he isn’t about to try to deal with a young shadowhunter who clearly thinks too highly of himself.

“I was wondering what the time was.” Magnus says simply. Normally, he wouldn’t have bothered to stop on his way out of Institute – he prefers getting out of there as soon as possible – but he’d found himself unconscious in one of the rooms of the Institute while he was updating the wards, and he’s more disoriented than he’d like to admit today.

“About 6 o’clock.” The shadowhunter states gruffly. Magnus nods, a bit surprised before continuing to head along his way. It’s late, later than he’d expected, but he isn’t too worried.

After all, he doesn’t have much to do today.

* * *

“I talked to Lorenzo, and explained everything. He’s vacating the loft as we speak.” Izzy’s saying the words, and Alec can hear her, but not really. He doesn’t feel her hand on his shoulder either, as he notices Magnus walk into the room.

He’s wearing the clothes he used to wear before he met Alec. It’s a wardrobe Alec knows all too well, one he uses to cover up his pain, jovial and bright and so unlike his usual style. Alec yearns to walk towards him, to wrap an arm around him, to kiss him, like he used to, but he stays put.

He’s not allowed to do that anymore.

He’s talking to another shadowhunter, and it’s clear the kind of treatment he’s getting, but Alec isn’t worried about that, not really. All he can focus on is one thing.

Magnus is still wearing the ring.

* * *

He makes his way down the halls of the Institute, ignoring the derogatory glances he receives from some of the shadowhunters as he absentmindedly twists the rings on his fingers.

Something doesn’t feel right.

He looks down at his hand in surprise, noticing with a start that he has a ring on his ring finger, the one finger he’s kept empty for centuries. It shocks him, even more so when he notices that it isn’t a ring he remembers ever buying. He continues walking as he wraps his hand around it. It’s nice and solid, clearly intended to make its presence known, and has an large ‘L’ engraved across the middle.

He can’t pull it off, though. He doesn’t know why, but he can’t bring himself to take the ring off his finger. He isn’t sure why, but he has the feeling that the minute he does, something terrible will happen. And he’d very much like to avoid terrible things, thank you very much. He’s seen a fair share during his lifetime.

And so he keeps walking, down the halls and out of the Institute, all the while telling himself that he’ll deal with the ring and the strange sensation he gets every time he so much as looks at it later.

But when he steps outside, he’s stopped in his tracks. He looks up, surprised, only to freeze the minute he sees who it is standing in front of him, all the color draining from his face.

“Hello, son.”

**Author's Note:**

> There's a bitch crying on the floor and that bitch is all of us.
> 
> THIS. EPISODE. HAS. DESTROYED. ME.
> 
> To see more people hysterically screaming like that (including me), click here: [ twitter ](https://twitter.com/shadowhunt_101)  
> To see even more people screaming, click here: [ tumblr ](https://kissed-by-a-shadow.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Be warned, these two sites are where the crazy theories come from. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, please don't kill me.
> 
> Love,  
> Dana.
> 
> Edit: To everyone asking about whether I'll be continuing this, I'm so sorry, but, as of the moment, I have no plans to. 
> 
> I don't even have a 'pla', actually. 
> 
> So, unfortunately, I guess that cliffhanger's just going to be hanging there for a while (I don't know whether I should be ashamed of myself for that pun or not).
> 
> HOWEVER, if I do get any ideas to continue this, I promise everything single one of you that I will. 
> 
> I'm now assuming you're even angrier at me than before. Therefore, I shall dodge the flying eggshells and tomatoes and dive out of here.
> 
> -
> 
> Edit 2: Okay, listen up, y'all. I make no promises here, but everyone who's read this has been asking for me to continue this. Therefore, I might do just that.  
> [The idea in my head is to delve more into the Dark!Magnus theme that we were so sorely robbed from. Thanks, Freeform.]


End file.
